


Hairless Rat Babies are Useless (the Peter Cottontail remix)

by ArgentSleeper



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Era, Fluff, M/M, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-23 03:00:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3751951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgentSleeper/pseuds/ArgentSleeper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Honestly, when it happened, he hadn’t been scared.  He did not get <em>scared</em>, nor had he been <em>surprised</em>.  He had merely been… taken off guard.  And who could blame him, really?  No one expected a giant hairless rat to suddenly attack them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hairless Rat Babies are Useless (the Peter Cottontail remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aeris444](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeris444/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The most dangerous and awful creature ever](https://archiveofourown.org/works/909060) by [Aeris444](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeris444/pseuds/Aeris444). 



> This is my first time doing a remix, so I'll admit I had a hard time choosing a fic and deciding what to do with it. I think it worked out pretty well though. Once I found this one it made me smile so much I had to remix it. I hope you like this interpretation of your work, Aeris444!
> 
> (Thanks to my bro for his beta help.)

 

 

 

Cornelius Royston Barrington III lived what he considered to be a full and prosperous life. He had a warm, safe place to sleep at night, a good store of food, and was on good terms with nearly all of his neighbours (Peter didn’t count; no one liked Peter).

What more could a rabbit want?

Honestly, when it happened, he hadn’t been _scared_. Cornelius did not get _scared_ , nor had he been _surprised_. He had merely been… taken off guard. And who could blame him, really? No one expected a giant hairless rat to suddenly attack them.

When it spotted him, it crouched down and bared its teeth, holding out one misshapen foot. Cornelius couldn’t help but feel bad for it. Far from being threatening, it just looked pathetic. He had a strange urge to take care of the giant rat. The poor thing was pointy all over, clearly underfed. Perhaps the mother rat had been killed and left her baby to starve.

Well, that wasn’t _Cornelius’s_ problem. It was survival of the fittest out in the forest. Winter would be coming soon, and the giant baby would die of exposure. Cornelius doubted any other animals would attempt to hunt the scrawny thing.

The rat made strange little noises, probably begging for food, but Cornelius hardened his heart. He couldn’t save this starving creature. He had to think about himself and his own need to eat.

Then there was a crashing noise and another giant hairless rat burst into view. This one was much broader and meatier, golden and shiny where the other was dark and dull.   The shiny one made angry noises at the pointy one, waving his front legs around randomly. Cornelius tilted his ears down, slightly, battling internally.

On the one hand, the pointy baby rat was going to die from malnutrition before they got too far into winter. There was no saving it. On the other hand, every protective instinct in him was longing to defend the poor pathetic thing from the golden one, whose shiny-ness seemed to be made of some kind of hard shell, like a turtle. In his front foot he swung about a shiny stick. It wasn’t fair to the pointy one to be so defenceless.

The pointy one reached for Cornelius with both front feet, lifting him from the ground and holding him tight. The shiny one grunted in annoyance, but Cornelius just lifted his head and chinned the pointy one’s arm. There. He had claimed the baby as his, safe from the wrath of the shiny stick.

 

* * *

 

 

The pointy one was very good at being grateful. It brought Cornelius back to its home, pampering him with food and attention. It even created a beautiful sleeping place. The shiny one, who strangely lived in the same place (perhaps his baby was braver than he had first thought, to stay so close to its enemy), watched from a distance. It was clearly unhappy about Cornelius’s protection.

As far as Cornelius could tell, the shiny one was called Thur, and the pointy one was called Mer. The lifestyle of this strange Mer-Thur creature confounded him. Thur shed its shiny shell protection the moment they entered their home, growling at Mer the whole time yet never attacking. Mer wolfed down strange whitish-yellow blocks of something, ignoring Cornelius’s warnings that it would choke if it didn’t slow down.

By the end of the day, Cornelius was starting to regret his decision to claim Mer. His pointy foundling hadn’t left him alone for even a minute, desperately needing to be in range of his safety. At least it seemed more able to feed itself than he had thought. In fact it was the shiny one who lacked sustenance.

But it was only when night was beginning to fall that Cornelius finally figured out what was going on. Really, it was so obvious he was surprised he hadn’t figured it right there in the woods. Thur was dancing around nervously in the background attempting to _mate_. How Mer wasn’t noticing was a mystery.

Clearly Cornelius was going to have to do something. The only thing he could think of right now, despite how it might frighten his foundling, was to withdraw his protection.

Turning, he made his way up and into the shelter Mer had built. Mer made a surprised squeak, and Cornelius almost turned around to protect it again when Thur’s voice joined in, much closer than it had been before.

As the squeaks turned to moans, Cornelius piled the straw in his shelter in front of the doorway to try to block out the sound.

Silly creatures.


End file.
